- If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,
you live in Iowa.
- If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they
don't work there, you live in Iowa.
- If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in
Iowa.
- If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
dialed a wrong number, you live in Iowa.
- If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of DES MOINES
for the weekend, you live in Iowa.
- If you measure distance in squares of farm land, you live in Iowa.
- If you know several people who have hit a cow more than once, you
live in Iowa.
- If you have gone from "heat" to "A/C" in the
same day and back again, you live in Iowa.
- If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard
without flinching, you live in Iowa.
- If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave
both unlocked, you live in Iowa.
- If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use
them, you live inIowa.
- If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,
you live in Iowa.If the I-80 speed limit is 75 mph -- you're going
90 and everybody is passing you, you live in Iowa.
- If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with snow, you live in Iowa.
- If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and
road construction, you live in Iowa.
- OR the 4 seasons are DEER, DUCK/GOOSE, Pheasant, and Rabbit, you
live in Iowa.
- If you have more hours on your lawn mower, and snow blower than
miles on your car, you live in Iowa.
- If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you live in
Iowa.
- If you understand these jokes, forward them to all your Iowa friends
& others, you actually have lived in Iowa.
Submited by Deborah Hamilton Smith
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